"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."
You may have broken me but I forgive you. I held on to the pain much longer than I was supposed to. You may have destroyed what I believe in but I forgive you. Because through you, I learned to believe in myself more than you do.
I forgive you for the pain you've caused me. Those sleepless nights I had where I stayed up late and wet my pillow. The times when all that I did was cry and ask so many questions. The tears I shed endlessly while I ask myself what I did to deserve the pain you've caused me. I forgive you for the days where I don't even wanna go out of bed just because everything doesn't make sense with me anymore.
I forgive you for the times I was alone because I was never a priority to you. For the times where you made me feel so little of myself because none of the things I do makes you happy anymore. For the times I sat down and cry and question my worth because you made me feel like I was unworthy of your love. I forgive you for the times I felt crashing down because one mistake turned me to a monster in your eyes. And I forgive you because it opened that part of me that knows I deserve so much more than feeling small and unwanted.
I forgive for the times you disregarded what I felt because yours was always more important than mine. I forgive you for the times you don't listen to what I feel because it's what you think I say that really matters in your head. I forgive you for the times you made me feel so wrong about myself because of how you look at me. You may have scarred my self esteem but I forgive you because you have made me respect myself, one that you have always deprived me of.
I forgive you. I forgive you for the broken promises. I forgive you for the memories we built and shared that now threw away. I forgive you for breaking my trust - for breaking me. I forgive you for thinking I am no longer useful to you. That I do matter that much anymore. I forgive you because now I know what I am to you and what you are. I forgive you because now I know I should detach myself so I can heal. I forgive you for you made me see what I deserve and it is not to be mistreated by anyone anymore.
I forgive you. Yes, I do. Because I can no longer let anger overpower the love I have in me. I forgive you because I have to let go of the space you once have in me so I can give it to someone better and more deserving. I forgive you because through you, I have learned that it's time to give myself the things I have given you. I forgive you because no amount of pain will ever be strong enough to kill the good soul I have been blessed with.
I forgive you because it's my way to my own healing. I forgive you because I can't let pain harden me when I know I have so much love to give. I forgive you because I have to let go of what hurts so I can hold onto what gives me hope.I forgive you because there is so much life to me that I want to be able to share with others too. I forgive you because the pain will lead me to new lessons and a better hope for what is waiting for me ahead. I forgive you because I won't succumb to the pain and will want to make sure I'll be able to do better and start again.
And more than that, I have forgiven myself more. I have to forgive myself for letting you have such effect on me. For letting you do things that hurt me repeatedly. I have to forgive myself for looking down on my own self just because you didn't appreciate what I give. I forgive myself for letting the pain control what I can do for myself and for those who've stayed beside me. I forgive myself for being blinded and losing sight of what I have left and who were really there for me.. I have forgiven myself and I don't regret all that I have given you because what I felt for you was genuine and real. And I know one day when I'm fully healed, I'll be giving it to someone who would truly and really care.
I forgive you,
And in forgiving you, I forgive msyelf too.
And I am now free of the pain that you put me through.